| *edit: What my dad thinks of my graduation (as published in Philippine News)...
The FilAm Class of ’06
Lito Gutierrez, Jun 14, 2006
MARGARET, my second daughter, is graduating this weekend from UC Davis with a degree in communications, and I couldn’t be happier. Um, well. Let me qualify that. I would have been really, really happy if she were to take over my dim journalistic torch and make it brighter, maybe even becoming a female equivalent of Anderson Cooper.
But some time between her stint last semester as a broadcast intern at a Fox News station in Sacramento and her graduation finals, she decided to take on a more economically prudent career: as a merchandiser for a giant retailer. My heart rather sank when she told me she was going to start work the weekend after graduation. She was looking forward to earning something in the orbit of $40,000 a year for starters.
“No more microwaved ramen,” she said jubilantly.
I remember a news anchor video she produced as a high school project. Watching it proudly I felt that as soon as she had adjusted to her braces, she would be a fine sight broadcasting from some hot spot like, maybe, Basra.
Her stint at Fox apparently, however, was a reality check. The pay prospect and the hours did not appeal to her. And with the burden of educational loans confronting her, the future suddenly looked more uncertain than the weather.
“Marty was ‘kawawa,’” Jeff, her boyfriend, would tell me. “She would cry.”
But not anymore. Happy as a clam at high tide, she is entering a world just about every other girl dreams about: shopping. And I can only shake my head as I sense my dream slipping away.
Over the weekend, however, I had lunch in San Francisco with top dogs of AyalaLand who were here on a nationwide roadshow to sell prime properties to Filipino Americans. We were talking about the situation in the motherland and Rex Mendoza, the president, related an anecdote that made me feel better about my daughter’s decision.
Rex, a graduate from one of the Philippines’ best exclusive schools, said he recently spoke at his alma mater’s career day. Asking his audience what career paths they were taking, he was stupefied to learn that most of them wanted to be seafarers and nurses.
“A ticket to get out of the country,” he said. “That’s all they were looking for.” And he added ruefully, you were looking at students not of a diploma mill but a highly regarded school.
A bittersweet feeling gripped me. Nearly two decades ago, I chanced upon a friend, a fervent nationalist and an outstanding economist, in a Catholic school in Manila which his daughter and mine attended. He had learned that I had skipped town and gone south (Brunei) to earn petrodollars.
“O,” he said in Tagalog, “Iniwan mo na pala kami. (You’ve left us already).” I sensed a hint of sadness in his voice, and it made me like a quisling.
The only response I could muster was, “Kailangan, pare (I need to, man),” the subtext which was I needed to secure a future for my children.
Fact was, even at that time, I had no intention of migrating to America. I felt that I would just save a few bucks while waiting for the ill winds to blow over the islands.
A few years later, however, my girls would join their mother in the U.S. and struck by my paternal obligations, would join them shortly.
Meantime the ill winds continued – and continues – to prevail and pummel the motherland and many of its citizens have just abandoned any hope for her future.
Marty will join hundreds, if not thousands, of Filipino Americans on university campuses across America who will receive their diplomas this summer. After the picture-taking and the parties, they will march on to promising, if not lucrative, careers.
I guess you could call them the lucky ones.
And while I will certainly not resent her career choice – and I hope she succeeds and make tons of money – I wish that one day, she and the other FilAm members of the Class of 2006 will take a pause and have a look at and reach out to those who were left behind.
**************************************************************************
I felt oddly inspired after finishing my VERY LAST FINAL EVER...
Adapted from Kubler-Ross's Five Stages of Death...
| THE FIVE STAGES OF FACING GRADUATION |
 Stage One
Denial, shock, and disbelief. Feeling of numbness. The inability to accept what has happened and insistence that no change has taken place.
Stage Two
Anger that the situation could occur, possibly directed to others (namely Hubby).
Stage Three
Beginning to accept the reality of the situation, but trying to 'bargain' for a bit more time to be a college student, whether through considering taking that second major or increased ingestion of alcoholic fluids.
Stage Four
Depression, characterized be feelings of hopelessness and despair about what has already been lost and what else will be lost.
Stage Five
Acceptance of the inevitable, and quiet discussions of graduation with closest friends (thanks, BFF) and relatives. An emotional reprieve from negative emotions. Feelings of peaceful resignation about one's own fate. Lack of interest in, and withdrawal from, the everyday affairs of life, and increased consumption of television. |
I think it's safe to say that I've finally arrived at Stage Five. Last week I actually enjoyed myself shopping for graduation party decorations. And today, I finally bought stuff to decorate my mortarboard (it's going to be so pretty!).
On Saturday, June 17th, at 9:00 a.m., I will be graduating with my Bachelor of Arts in Communication with minors in Political Science and History at the Letters and Sciences Commencement Ceremony at the UC Davis ARC Pavilion.
And for those who are interested (and in the area), Mr. Hubby and I are having a very small get-together at my place with crudites (as Ate Marion likes to call them) and assorted other foods... and some booze too. Come celebrate my second-to-last day as a "student" for I will be starting work on MONDAY, June 19th... no summer vacation for me! But then it's time to make some sweet moolah...
Hope to see you there!  |
